All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye

wow. i feel like shit

i need to vent

ok so lets start with the first part. my friend comments on my status on fb. my status was mcr lyrics (understand now that my chemical romance is my very favorite band).

she says something about hearing one of their songs on a commercial for a movie. so im like WHAT?!? but anyways the rest of that conversation is irrelevant. so today im peacefully watching saw and minding my own business when i see the commercial for smokin aces 2 (some movie ive never heard of before now) and mama (aforementioned mcr song) is playing in the background. so im like WTF?!? and then i remember her comment and im freaking out and really pissed off.

lemme take a minute to explain the emotions i got-most people might get excited, even happy. when your like me, and usually when your an mcr fan, you dont want your favorite bands/mcr getting popular and you definitely dont want them going mainstream. said people like me/mcr fans usually take pride in the fact that they are indeed freaks, abnormal, weird, not accepted, etc. we’re that way, we know we’re that way, and we like it that way. and we also want it to stay that way. so even tho we do want them to be successful; of course we want the best for our favorite band, we dont want them to be popular. but unfortunately nowadays, in music, theres little way around being one and not the other. mcr have never strived to be popular and theyre not the kind to sell out. theyre happy being dorks. but the black parade (their latest cd) was big.

much like this ^^ picture. meaning to say they got some attention for it. attention i get the feeling was a bit of a surprise and probably unwanted. by all.

but regardless, back to my story. so im upset, right. theyre not supposed to be popular and i dont want them to be. so my thoughts are similar to “what is wrong with the world?” and “this is horrible”. needless to say at this point, i was very upset upon discovering mama on a commercial. so i go to my boyfriend who i had been talking to and tell him what i just witnessed and how upset it made me. i told him the story from the beginning, including the part about my friend on fb. (know that we’re both friends with her, that i dont know her THAT well, honestly we’re sort of more like acquaintances brought together more than most “acquaintances” by a common favorite band, and also that hes in marching band *cringe* with her and therefore probably thinks he knows her/likes her better. cuz hes a nub like that. i like her much more than he does and he knows her about as well as i do. but thats a completely different issue.) so all he can think to say is “lol” and question why im so upset. i guess the second part is rational, its abnormal to get so upset about your favorite band on a commercial. and plus he doesnt understand me and my music very well. i get weird with my music. but geebus he should know how weird i am at this point, we’ve been going out for 8 1/2 months. so after explaining and ranting and telling him the story and everything, all he has to really say (other than “lol”) is to correct me on spelling my (ok, our) friends last name wrong in my angry rant. (perfectly understandable in such a situation when one is hurriedly typing in anger. and he knows that).

anyways. so hes being a smart ass and correcting me while im upset. is it wrong for me to get pissed off? cuz i did. i mean honestly right now, im over the mcr thing. way over it. it was one commercial, they were barely in it, it was background music, and it didnt look like that bad of a movie, so why complain? but god, does he have no sensitivity? i mean i was genuinely upset at that moment and all he can do is be a smart ass. all im thinking is how he *sarcastic tone* just cares so much to make me feel better. all he can do is “defend” his “friend”. what about your girlfriend? geebus. i know im making a big deal of it all, especially now since im ok, and since im over the mcr thing, but geebus he shouldve tried to take me seriously and make me feel better and forget about a stupid typo.

now its another story if he even knew i was mad. hes really bad at figuring that part out. hes gone now anyways so theres no telling, cuz we never resolved anything. in fact he just made me angrier until he left. but ill probably be fine once hes back. im bad at holding grudges. probably a good thing cuz i have a bad temper.

ok, well im glad i got that out of my system. i feel much better. i had to get it out 3 times apparantly tho (i ranted to two of my friends as well haha. i feel bad for them. i feel bad for any poor person who has to deal with me).

in other news, i havent tumbl’d in a while. or written in general. ive been reading mostly. and being lazy. but the second parts not new. im glad im doing it now. it feels good. ive missed it. speaking of reading tho, the last book i read was looking for alaska. by john green.

it was marvelous, and if you like reading enough to read books outside of school (i know a lot of people dont. theyre crazy) then i highly recommend you go read it. i think its my new favorite book. like of all time. ok so idk about that, id really have to think on that one to be sure. but its my temporary favorite.

so thats what ive been up to. that and school. boo. my lifes pretty boring haha.

in more other news, me and my friend were talking the other day about how we used to be “hardcore” (sort of) and how we’re pansies now and we miss the way we used to be. so naturally that led to talk of piercings and tattoos. hahaha. if you dont know me, ima tell you i have a lot of piercings compared to your average person. ive got triple lobe piercings on both ears, two catrilidge piercings on one of my ears, and an industrial

in the other. only ears tho, my mother is opposed to facial piercings. (probably my dad too.) boo on them. and i think they both would die if i mentioned a tattoo. my dad would probably shoot me right then and there even without asking for one. just mentioning it. but anyways, i want another piercing, because, well, i just love getting them. its so much fun. and said friend ^^ is probably getting a tattoo soon and one of my other friends is getting another piercing i think. i want to join in on the fun. i like the adrenaline. but anyways im left with few options at this point. but i think i want whats called a rook piercing.

see, isnt that just beautiful? it looks very painful tho 0.o but i havent done much research on it yet so im not sure. but i know i dont care about the pain factor at this point. i want what i want and thats that. i only research for things like “could cause paralysis” and other ridiculous possibilities. i dont want to risk becoming paralysed in any part of my body for a piercing.

as far as tattoos go i think i know what i want for my very first one. i want the black parade soldier on my hip.

ive decided that no matter what happens, mcr will always be/have been a part of my life. nothing can change that at this point. its already happened. so i wont regret that tattoo. plus, if i need to hide it, it shouldnt be that hard.

im bored with my ranting now.

brosef